Feeling connected boosts brain development and mental health
Even small moments of bonding can boost mental and physical wellbeing, according to experts, so let’s embrace Mental Health Month’s theme, because ‘A Little Connection Goes a Long Way’
READING LEVEL: GREEN
What comes to mind when you think about connection?
Imagine playing with your classmates during recess, or telling your parents about your day at school, or simply petting a puppy that is wagging its tail.
Despite seeming small, these little moments of bonding* build a strong sense of belonging and help you feel connected.
Feeling connected doesn’t just feel good, it is really important for your physical and mental wellbeing, according to University of Sydney Professor Ian Hickie.
“The most important bonding hormone, oxytocin*, is released when we interact with people we love and trust,” Prof Hickie said. “It’s the chemical in our brains that makes us feel warm, safe, and happy. It’s pleasurable. It binds us.”
Connecting with other people is also very important for children’s development, when they are as young as three years old.
“It’s social skills, it’s brain skills,” Prof Hickie said. “It’s learning to read another face, understand body language, understand tone of voice, understand that the experience of others is different to yours.”
Real connection also contributes to physical health.
National and international organisations across the globe are paying a little more attention to connection at this time of the year, with October officially Mental Health Month.
Close to home, Mental Health Australia is leading the charge with its Together We Thrive campaign, reminding every Aussie kid and adult alike to connect more deeply with the people and the world around them.
If you already have those connections, the campaign encourages you to nurture* them further this month.
Here is a list of simple things all Australians can do this October, to connect with friends, family, pets, neighbours and the local environment.
CONNECTING WITH MATES, OLD AND NEW
Playing outdoors makes us physically and mentally stronger. Playing with friends – and making new ones – is the cherry on top.
According to ReachOut senior manager support services, Elaine Fowler, young people don’t have to have “hundreds of friends”, or be the most popular kid at school to build strong connections.
“It’s about having people in your life that you can have fun with, share what’s happening in your lives and talk to them if you need to,” Ms Fowler said.
A conversation at recess or a walk in the park can help you bond with friends and classmates.
B Kinder Foundation founder Danny Mayson-Kinder said something as simple as a smile could help kids connect with others.
“It might be somebody who’s lonely or they’re sitting on their own,” she said. “Just asking them to come and join their group or playing with them … that would have such a huge impact* on their mental wellbeing, both for them and the person that they’ve asked to come and play.”
You could also exchange books and music with your friends and family. Tell them your favourite song, or a good book you’ve read. Ask them about their favourite singer or writer.
CONNECTING OFF-SCREEN
Giving people our full attention is key to making strong connections.
Ms Mayson-Kinder said listening was an important element of bonding.
“You can’t do that if you’re not looking at the person you’re talking to,” she said.
When you’re talking to someone, remember to give them your full focus, which means not watching television, playing video games, or texting someone else at the same time.
Show that you are really interested in what they have to say. Being present, without any distractions, will also help you develop important social skills.
CONNECTING IN A GROUP
The “feel good” chemicals grow when you’re doing what you enjoy in a group setting, whether it is with your mates, classmates, or family members. It also helps your brain development, Prof Ian Hickie said.
“The most complicated, actual, mental, cognitive* task is understanding not just one other face, but a whole range of faces and responses,” he said.
Kids can learn important social skills by not just watching people, but connecting with them through a shared activity or experience, “’n a classroom, in a kindergarten, in a social group, in a sporting group, in a community group,” he said.
CONNECTING WITH YOURSELF AND NATURE
Gardening can immediately put you in a better mood. It is another form of feeling connected.
According to Kids in the Garden author Mary Moody, touching the soil, planting seeds in the ground and even weeding* can all make us happier.
“There are natural elements within the soil that boost serotonin* levels and act like a natural mood enhancer, much like the endorphins* brought on by exercise,” Ms Moody said.
Connecting with yourself is another important element in feeling connected. Mindfulness is one of the ways in which we can all do that.
Find a quiet spot outside in the fresh air and take five deep breaths. Or try spending five minutes writing down on a piece of paper or in a journal how you feel and what you’re thinking.
CONNECTING WITH ANIMALS
Hanging out with furry friends is not only fun, it also makes you feel happier and more connected.
Researchers have found that spending as little as five minutes with a dog could increase oxytocin levels in your body.
If you have a dog at home, spending extra time with them boosts their oxytocin levels as well, making you both feel happier. And if you don’t have a dog of our own, next time you’re out with your parents for a walk and you spot a friendly-looking dog doing the same, go ahead and ask the owner if it’s all right for you to say hello. Most times you’ll get a big smile and a resounding “Yes!” in response.
POLL
GLOSSARY
- bonding: forming a strong emotional connection between two or more things or people
- oxytocin: also called the love hormone is a natural chemical produced in the brain that makes you feel connected and loved
- campaign: planned event or action to reach a goal or achieve a specific result
- nurture: to care for and protect something or someone, so they can grow
- impact: a strong result, or effect
- cognitive: mental activities like thinking, learning, and remembering
- weeding: removing unwanted wild plants called weeds
- serotonin: chemical produced naturally in your brain that affects the way you feel
- endorphins: hormones released in your body that make you feel good when you exercise
EXTRA READING
Top five ways dogs boost your health and heart
Kids helping kids fight brain cancer
Where respect and resilience meet
QUICK QUIZ
- What is the importance of strong connections?
- What is the most important bonding hormone?
- When is National Mental Health Month?
- What is Australia focusing on this month?
- What five things can help you feel more connected?
LISTEN TO THIS STORY
CLASSROOM ACTIVITIES
Connection Club
How could you and your peers create a mental health month campaign in your school and help people in your school community build stronger connections?
Brainstorm some ideas and list them below:
Could any of these ideas become part of a connection hub or club that students or staff could help facilitate in your school during recess and lunch times?
Outline how this club, hub or activity could run:
If this is something you would like to follow up further, make an appropriate time to speak with your student representative council or teacher or principal to discuss.
Time: allow 20 minutes to complete this activity
Curriculum links: English, Health and Physical Education, Personal and Social, Critical and Creative Thinking.
Extension
Put yourself in someone else’s shoes in the following scenarios.
- Student sitting alone
- The distracted friend not really listening
- The group project where one person is dominating conversation
- The excluded teammate in a game
- The online group chat that someone is left out of
- The lonely adult
In each one identify:
- How that person might be feeling?
- What you could do to assist?
- Some ways you could offer connection to this person.
Time: allow 15 minutes to complete this activity
Curriculum links: English, Health and Physical Education, Personal and social, Critical and Creative Thinking.
VCOP ACTIVITY
Extension
Find a bland sentence from the article to up-level. Can you add more detail and description? Can you replace any base words with more specific synonyms?
Down-level for a younger audience. Find a sentence in the article that is high level. Now rewrite it for a younger audience so they can understand the words without using the glossary.